A plaster cat
Visited a Cairo museum,
Seeking her roots.
There she saw
A giant statue
Of the cat goddess Bastet
Who looked just like her
But with more interesting
Jewelry.
She learned that
In ancient times
Egyptians worshiped cats
And mummified them
So that they could enter
An afterlife.
I will worship Bastet too,
She decided, this being
A better deal for cats
(Who have a natural aversion to
Baptismal fonts, tongue
Wafers, and kneeling)
Than Christianity.
The next day she had her ears,
Nose, and nipples pierced,
Put a down-payment on
A cemetery plot with
Built-in catacomb
A stone's throw
From the Nile Esplanade
& Flood Plain,
And was signing up for
Posthumous mummification
With a 1000-year parts and
Labor warranty
When she learned
Cat mummification today
Is just an adman's fancy name
For plastercastification,
Asked for her deposit back,
And flew home in time for
Christmas.