LIMERICKS

There once was a cat made of plaster
Who never let anyone past her;
In a race with her Paw
She did not lift a claw,
Yet got to the finish line faster. 

There once was a cat made of plaster
Who dared anyone to outlast her;
On an Everest hike
She went up on a bike
And relaxed at the top sipping Shasta. 

There was a sad cat made of plaster
Whose love life was one big disaster
Until she found Zen
And gave up on men
To sleep at the feet of the Master. 

A computer cat felt she was cracking
Chose a plaster support group for backing;
They advised what to do
With a tubeful of glue...
And that was the end of her hacking. 

There once was a cat made of plaster
Who tried out for a show and they cast her
But a jellicle cat
Called her lazy and fat
And contended the Cats cast out-classed her.

A jellicle cat made of plaster
All the critics proclaimed a disaster
On opening night
All she did was sit tight
While the rest of the Cats cast danced past her.

There was a young lady named Pats
Who was very allergic to cats
So she bought one of plaster
Cast by a cast master
And no one can tell it's ersatz.