A monarch who loved cats,
Sent his most trusted
And discriminating knight
On a quest:
Gallop, he directed him,
To the North, South,
East and West,
Find the most beautiful cat
The world has ever seen,
Bring her back
And she will be our queen.
Do this for your king
And you will earn our gratitude.

The knight rode off,
Searched every
Longitude and latitude,
And in a year returned.
Sire, he said,
I've been the whole world 'round
And have at long last found
The most beautiful cat
On land or sea or foam:
A Purrsian cat,
From Purrsia
Carved in a kind of stone.
What color is she?
Asked the king.
Replied the knight:
Sire, she is purest white.

But when the monarch saw the cat
He could not believe his eyes.
This cat is black
And Siamese, said he,
And made of plaster,
Not of alabaster.
Sire, said the knight,
When a simple man like me
Espies the cat
Most beautiful in all the world,
He is filled with such amaze
That he may overlook
Some small details,
Like the color of its glaze.

That very afternoon the king,
In a public wedding,
Made the plaster cat his bride,
Then bore it to his royal bed,
And laid it by his side.
It was an unproductive night.
I love your looks,
He told the cat at dawn,
Am really smitten;
But should you ever break
I will replace you
With a plaster kitten.
You aren't so great in bed yourself,
Replied the yellow tom,
And bittim.


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